Jesus Christ!!! Bite My ASS!

Yo, Dude’s & Dudette’s how do you do?
Know that I’m doin’ just fine,
and I’m virtually jesus freakin’ Christ.
I can do no harm,
but you may feel a little pain.
C’est La Vie, and then you die.
Get over it already, or listen to the Doors.
As they sing “Nobody gets out of here alive”.
And now I will open the door to a new perception.
Dan the Man is Mr. Jesus 2.3,
I’ve been labeled this by the “International Fellowship of Christians & Jews”
Some Rabbi there keeps beggin’ for money,
but the man sent a gift and it was addressed to me,
And it said “The God of Abraham”.
I suppose when you’re running a money scam,
you’ll try anything to get rich!
That guy can just Bite my ASS!

And then there was the Priest who said some shit about Islam,
He produced a document labeled, "A Mohammedan Questions a Bishop".
I’ll tell you right now the guy must have been an Old Fart,
Nobody uses that term unless he wants to offend a Muslim!

And then I read the rest of the story,
About the Bishop Samonas of Gaza who had come to Jerusalem with a party!
Personally the guy can party all he wants,
I don’t even care where he dips his stick!
But the silly thing was what he tried to do,
Convince a thinking man,
who wasn't a jew,
into believing the bread was my flesh!

To tell you the truth, it isn’t my flesh the Bishop was talking about,
In reality the man was talking about jesus 1.0, not me, jesus 2.3
Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, he gave several silly metaphors, analogies, or simile,
To tell you the truth I don’t know the difference, but it was indeed silly.
I don’t give a shit what the Bishop had to say,
but I’ve got my reasons to laugh in his face!
I know many Catholics, in fact I raised my daughters as them,
While I was an agnostic, who knew what truth is!

To tell you the truth I asked the godmother if she’d bite me,
Just to see if she could tell me whether I tasted like the wafer.
I just couldn’t convince her to take that bite, but she was honest with me,
And she didn’t even lie!
She said of course the bread didn’t taste like flesh,
The thing only represents it.

So, I ask you this, is the godmother wrong,
or is the Bishop sick in the head?
I don’t know the Bishop,
but I do know the Godmother,
She isn’t my mother,
while her child isn’t really her own.
We go a long way back,
but LOVE knew the GodMother even longer than that!
Therefore, I’ll believe the lady before I believe the man,
Only because I know the bishop was tryin’ to fool that other man!

But no man can be fooled if he doesn’t want to be,
Unless he’s tryin' to get clear, holding some cans.
That’s not science, but it is scientology,
Those fools will do anything to make a quick buck.

In the mean time, most of us are just tryin’ to get by.
It’s called survival of the fittest, and I’ll defend my clan!I’m a Muslim Master Mind, but I was a Christian at one time.

In fact I was a priest in these latter days, and I was feelin’ just fine!
But I don’t remember if I felt that way one day,
the day I don’t remember is the day they snipped my skin,
fore what reason I didn’t know.
Hell, I’m still wondering why I was chosen for this show?

But here I am now, just tryin’ to make the best of what I know.
Do you think I’m joking, or do you believe I’m mocking you?
That’s for me to know, and you to find out!

With an Everlasting Love,
Now, & Forever Always,
Virtually yours, jesus Christ!